They say it's your birthday

If you told a much younger me that I would celebrate another year of senior citizenship pretty much confined to my home as the country and the world battled a pandemic, I would have questioned the timeline of your crystal ball.

Those kinds of things happened in other centuries. But the 21st? Nah....

But, here I am.  I'm turning 67 and part of an age group that they say has the most to fear from Covid-19.

I've convinced myself that I don't look 67. People who haven't seen me in a while always say that I "never change."

I also don't think I act 67. I seem to have a good rapport with my college age students and the somewhat younger people I work with at our real estate office. Though to be honest, Mari has told me for years that I was "old before my time."

I guess I never really paid much attention to my age as the days and then years piled up. Too busy with family, work, teaching, and politics to notice.

But now I'm struck by the randomness of life -- and how lucky I am -- as Covid's toll has risen. Spring-breakers; middle-agers; the "elderly;" first responders, health care workers, and grocery store employees - no one seems to be exempt from its wrath.

I know everything is part of the Eternal Plan. But this is a real puzzler. I suppose we'll get the answer when...well, you know...

We're fortunate. Cape Cod is not heavily populated this time of year and it's relatively easy to maintain social distancing when leaving the house for groceries or take out. We know some out of the way beaches where we can get a breath of clean, fresh ocean air without running into crowds. My two places of employment have shifted to virtual operations so technology allows me to function, as if I were in the office or on campus.

On the positive side, the current situation has forced me to learn about technologies like Zoom and similar products that I wasn't all that familiar with. I'm also trying to get better at editing videos, as virtual open houses and showings will no doubt be popular, even when we're finally cleared to resume usual activities.

I'm notorious for never quite finishing a book. While I still have a few in limbo, over the last few weeks I've been reaching the end of the last chapter more than usual.

I've even sat still long enough the watch a few movies. I've seen Trolls World Tour twice...

...and I'm ashamed to admit it, but I've even watched a Hallmark move.

As the virus rampages on, I take comfort in the fact that I've been blessed with good health and pretty good genes. My Mom lived to be nearly 91. Her mother was 80. My Dad was 78. The folks who handle our "investments," say that the actuarial tables predict that I should make it to my 90s. I can only hope and pray that, if I do, I'll know where I am; who I am, and be in control of the majority of my important bodily functions.

I know this. As I get older, I have to resist the temptation to be too concerned about when the first shoe and then the proverbial other shoe will drop. And I definitely have to stay away from WebMD. Now more than ever.

I have a lot to live for. Mari and I have much more to accomplish professionally and personally. Our granddaughter just turned 8 and I'm not going to miss seeing her grow up.

So, it's onward through a year that so far we'd like to forget. I'm actually looking forward to turning 68.

It means I survived being 67.

Who will we be?

What will it be like when we're given the all clear to return to our usual lives?

Will we be the same people we were before this began or somehow changed?

For those of us who could work at home, how willing will we be to return to our tightly packed office cubicles now we know that we can do our jobs away from the office?

After seeing how effective working remotely was, how many companies will re-think the way they do business? An exec we know from a company with several hundred employees has told us that the decision has already been made to issue every new hire a laptop and the tools needed to work at home.

Or, will we be so tired of Zoom meetings and conference calls that we'll be happy to get back to the daily grind?

How will those, who have been somehow been personally impacted by the virus or took seriously the advice of medical experts, deal with that co-worker, who will loudly insist that it was "just the flu" and "not that many people died"?

Will we be willing to stand shoulder to shoulder in TSA lines at airports? Might we even be tempted to buy the seat next to us on the plane so no one will sit there?

How comfortable will we be eating at our favorite table at our favorite restaurant just inches away from the people next to us?

How quick will we be to call our primary care provider if that ache or pain; cough or sniffle that a few months ago we would have ignored doesn't go away in a few days?

The virus has brought out the best and worst in us.

Will we continue to care about our neighbors, who we never really knew before, or go back to our own little worlds?

Will we remember to thank the people, who as every day heroes, remained on the job in hospitals, nursing homes, grocery stories, pharmacies and police and fire stations?  Or will we still be mean spirited towards the people checking out our groceries, stocking the shelves at the pharmacy, or bringing our take out to our cars?

Our daughter, who manages a restaurant that has stayed open because of its well established take out business, tells us she can't believe how angry people are when picking up their orders.

Will we continue to support non-profits that provided food to families or churches that scurried to have on line services?

Or, will we still put ourselves first by the hoarding basic necessities like toilet paper, paper towels, cleaning products, bottled water and other items?

The morning after the President suggested we wear masks when going out -- although inexplicably he said he wouldn't  -- I went to several pharmacies and hardware stores looking for some. My quest was greeted with the same answer everywhere: "we were wiped out weeks ago."

So, why was it that in trips to the grocery store or to get take out, I hardly saw a soul wearing one? Whose shelves have they been sitting on "just in case?"  Even now, why don't we see more people wearing them? Especially seniors??

Will we be like a small, but vocal minority of Catholics who have put themselves first by demanding that public Masses be celebrated so they can receive Communion, thereby putting celebrants at risk? (Somehow I don't think that's what Jesus would do.)

With our hair at the length it was in college and it's color now natural, will we decide that there's no need to spend all that money at the barber shop or salon for fancy cuts and dyes? We look just fine.

Will family movie and game nights continue?

Will we still remember to say our prayers or become too busy again?

Who will we be?

Going Online

Over the last several weeks, colleges and universities have transitioned to online learning. Companies have told employees to work at home.

Just flip the switch and we'll roll on.

If only it were that easy.

There are many lessons to be learned from our collective response to the Corona Virus. I hope one is that when it comes to technology, not all of us are equal.

While most of us consider high speed internet access and home computers a given like the kitchen sink, that's simply not the case for everyone.

As college students scattered across the country to finish the semester online, they were going home to differing technological realities. Internet access isn't the same everywhere. In some family situations, a home computer is a luxury. While on campus, it's not unusual for students to use an IPad to read their online textbooks, then write their papers on library computers.

This technological gap can exist not only for some college students, but those in grades K-12. In response to schools being closed, local districts have started posting assignments online. What if the family doesn't have access to a computer and printer? What then?

According to recently published statistics, nearly 90% of American households either have a laptop or desktop computer.* The other 10%? Some are no doubt older households. IPhones and IPads work just fine for Grandma and Grandpa who are retired in Florida and can FaceTime with their grandchildren.

But for those homes where there is no computer and school age children? Our daughter has several technological devices at home from IPads to Nintendo and virtual reality goggles.  A home computer? Nope. If she needs to use one, she comes to our house.

Generally speaking, computers should be replaced every five years to keep up with technology. They can last longer if being used just for internet browsing and keeping track of the family budget.

But will those machines be suitable substitutes for the computer at your desk when you're suddenly called upon to do your  job at home? Maybe not. This might explain why one of our real estate clients, who is responsible for his company's IT operations, has been delivering laptops to employees, who are now working at home.

What's more surprising is that about 19 million Americans -- 6% of the population - still lack access to fixed broad services at minimal levels. In rural areas, nearly 25% of the population -- 14.5 million people -- lack any internet access.

It's called the digital divide.  It's more stunning when you consider that 41% of the world's population doesn't have any internet access at all. (How do they survive without YouTube and TikTok?)

When Bridgewater State University made the decision to move to online learning, I polled my students about access to the internet and home computers. A handful responded that they had limited or no internet access and/or no home computer. The obvious suggestion to use their Town Library quickly became moot.

Starting tomorrow, our granddaughter's school district is implementing mandatory morning meetings with teachers and students. Weekly assignments are being posted at the school's website. Her First Communion class began Zoom instruction this past Sunday!

This is certainly a welcomed effort to provide a sense of normalcy and structure for students, while continuing the learning process at some level. But for those homes where technology is an issue -- no matter how small the number -- one has to hope that school districts will provide resources and assistance.

Already isolated from their classmates, teachers, after school activities and other family members, this is not the time to leave any child behind.

*Statista, March 2020

Sentenced to the Rocking Chair

One of my pet peeves for years has been age discrimination. Long before I crossed the line into "senior citizenship," I saw it impact me and others on too many occasions.

Bring us in for the second and third job interviews; ask us questions that only our years of experience can effectively answer, but hire someone else and arm them with the information we provided.

In 2020, we still haven't figured out what to do with people, who just a few decades ago were considered "old." I have great memories of my Mother's parents and when I think about them now I have images of people who are actually younger than I am, but look and act much older.

Our confusion with age struck me once again following the recent
decision by Cleveland Cavaliers Coach John Beilien to step aside. A highly successful college coach at the University of Michigan, his record with the Cavs at the All-Star break was a dismal 14-40. It was reported that he couldn't relate to his young players.

When the commentary on ESPN turned to whether Beilein should go back to the college game, there was always a remark from a 30-something talking head that went something like: "Well, he's 67 you know..."

To which I would silently scream to myself: "Yeah, so????"

Duke's legendary Coach K is 73 and I haven't heard anyone suggest that he should be heading to the rocking chair on his front porch. Bill Belichick is 67 and no one would dare even whisper that he's "too old" for the rigors of an NFL head coaching job.

As someone who isn't interested in retiring, I'm fortunate that my resume includes years of teaching, where experience in my field counts.  I'm also lucky my wife decided to bring me on as her associate in her highly successful real estate practice, where the fact that I'm older and "helping her out" has seemed to give me credibility with some of our clients. 

I have to be honest and say that in my mid- 50's when I moved on from the job of a lifetime that came at the wrong time in my life, the search for what to do next wasn't easy. I followed all the suggestions offered by AARP and other sources, but finished runner up to someone younger with less experience more times than I care to remember.

I'll never forget a call I received from a contact in an HR Department at a non-profit where I was the second choice. She told me confidentially that the organization was very interested in hiring me, but was afraid that I would retire in a few years. This after I made it clear that for a variety of very specific reasons I had no interest in early retirement and was looking forward to long career with the agency.

I think part of the difficulty society has in dealing with the "new" older generation is that we're not one size fits all. Many of us have been blessed with good health and an interest in remaining active whether working, traveling or volunteering. But, there are also others our age, who are struggling with challenges. There's simply no algorithm to predict who will be what and when.

Eighty-one year old British TV personality Johnny Ball, who is best known for his popular children's math and science programs, has said that "discrimination due to age is one of the great tragedies of modern life. The desire to work and be useful is what makes life worth living, and to be told that your efforts are not needed because you are the wrong age is a crime."

The question is how do we convince the people in HR and ESPN that age is just a number?

Grateful

My sincere thanks to all of you who have taken the time to read my thoughts, both big and small. At the least, I hope you have enjoyed my posts. Maybe every now and then I've even given you something to think about.

For me, this blog is a hobby, an occasional teaching tool, and a bit of self indulgence, as I've always fancied myself a writer.

I know it seems like things are a little crazy right now. But, those of us of a certain age remember other times when we also weren't sure what the future held.

As kids and then teenagers, we lived through the assassinations of three beloved leaders; the brink of nuclear war with the Russians; a power outage that knocked out the East Coast (many feared it was the Russians); a very unpopular war that was killing thousands of American soldiers, and the first -- and so far only -- Presidential resignation.

If you're not sure what to do with that Amazon gift card you got as a present yesterday, consider purchasing The Soul of America by historian Jon Meecham. He's a great writer and in this book, he chronicles the many times during our history when we managed to overcome division and fear to more forward.

(If his name sounds familiar, he spoke at the funerals for President and Mrs. Bush and was very engaging.)

So, while there's a lot to be concerned about as we head into 2020, I sincerely hope that during this holiday season you can be as grateful as I am for the many blessings that we do have.

As food for thought, please check out this surprisingly motivational video from Steve Harvey.

Wishing you the best in 2020...

The Next Chapter

I've been surprised at how easy it has been to adjust to "retirement."

I've written before about how I "got retired" from a job that I truly enjoyed and hoped to still be working at today.

I honestly thought that I would have to be dragged kicking and screaming into this latest chapter of my  life. Right now, retirement for me is best defined as not working full time in the traditional sense.

I'm the associate in Mari Sennott and Associates, my wife's very successful real estate practice. I'm teaching part-time at a state university about 30 minutes off-Cape and continue to do the occasional organizational communications seminar at a large Rhode Island non-profit.

So, I haven't joined the daily round of golf and a nap crowd yet. But, I've settled into this somewhat non-regimented life style easier than I anticipated.

I'm sure one of the reasons is that I just don't have the energy I used to, which is hard to admit. It seems as if it wasn't that long ago I wouldn't shut off the TV until I saw Johnny Carson's and later Jay Leno's monologue.

Now with our granddaughter's 9:00pm bed time I'm quite comfortable turning in at that hour, too -- whether she's staying with us or not.

So, I can't tell you what goofy things Jimmy Fallon did last night.  And don't ask me about Saturday Night Live. Even if I stayed up, chances are I wouldn't know who the host or musical guest was. The latter is a little discouraging, as I promised a younger me that I would always be cool and keep up with the latest music and trends.

But what's been hardest about this newest phase of life is seeing Father Time catch up -- not only with those generations removed from me -- but friends much closer in age and shared experience.

My Mother's best friend -- the last person she wanted to see in addition to the priest before she died -- passed away herself a week or so ago. Mary was literally the last of a generation of friendships that began more than 50 years ago.

We learned last week of the passing of a good Attleboro friend and a loyal colleague of mine when we served together on the City Council in the 1980's. Tony and I lost touch over the years, but Mari and I have fond memories of spending time with him and his wife at countless political events; enjoying dinner and drinks at Jerimar's (Mari's Dad's restaurant), and having breakfast together on Saturday mornings, when we arrived to take control of the Dennisport cottage that we rented on successive weeks. (It was owned by our local State Rep., who was an ally and friend to Tony and me.)

Thirty one years ago Tony also assured Mari I was not as "old" as she thought I was and that I would be fun to date.

I don't think I ever thanked Tony for that vote of confidence...

...which is yet another reminder that when you reach a certain age, it's important to have all your affairs in order. Not just the legal stuff, but being sure that the things that need to be said are said to those who need to hear them.

Realtors Don't Like Us

It's ironic since we're in the business, but we're the kind of people realtors don't like.

We've lived in the same house for 25 years.

We probably should have moved about ten years ago when I was recruited for a job with an international energy firm that had its North American headquarters in Andover, MA, just a couple of miles from the New Hampshire border.

The commute was a bear, but Megs was a senior in high school, so moving wouldn't have been fair. I also traveled extensively, which would have left Mari alone in a new home, while trying to establish her real estate footprint in an unfamiliar area.

So, I rented the second bedroom of a basement condo in Chelmsford that was owned by the head of HR at an area software development company. Bill was from Pawtucket and had a similar ugly daily commute. He was on the road a lot too, so sometimes only one of us was there. Many weeks neither of us were.

We had a lot in common from our travels and big jobs at large corporations to talking about Rhode Island. So when we were both at "The Foxy," Bill and I spent the time swapping stories and eating the left overs that our wives sometimes packed for us. {The name of the condo complex was Fox Run hence the nickname, which has a special meaning if you're from Rhode Island.}

Mari and I almost moved about two years ago to one of the few Cape condo complexes on her "if we ever" list. But it didn't work out.

You need to understand, there's nothing remarkable about our home. It's your typical Cape style house: one bedroom down with two up and a bathroom on each floor. There's nothing Cape Cod-ish about our subdivision, either. It could be transplanted to almost anywhere and fit right in. There are no water views and while we're really close to ponds and beaches, none are within walking distance.

Our house sits in the middle of a 1/2 acre corner lot surrounded by trees giving the impression that we have roomy front and  back yards.  There's more than enough space when Mariana is over to play soccer and whiffle ball, as well as practice our chip shots.

Aside from the usual updates and repairs, the only major changes we've made to the house are the new kitchen that Mari did this year and outdoor shower that I've wanted since we arrived. Because we've decided to age in place -- that's the technical term for "we ain't goin' nowhere" --  there are vague plans to turn the first floor bedroom into a master suite.

The average American moves about 11 times. So, why haven't we?

When my parents would visit, my Dad often said that he enjoyed coming because our house was "comfortable." I think that description probably best sums up why we're still there after all these years. Our home is comfortable and at this point contains far too many memories to leave behind.

One of the folksy sayings realtors have when a house has been on the market longer than expected is that the home is "just waiting for its owner."

So, in the case of our little house, I guess that's us.