A Pair of Sixes

Another year; another birthday.

They say that you're never too old to learn and I've certainly had my share of lessons this past year.

I've been reminded once again of the time and effort that it takes to be a teacher. While the schedule and responsibilities of a full time college professor (especially one who doesn't have classes on Fridays) aren't the same as an elementary or high school instructor, the subtle suggestions that you don't have a "real" full time job are similar.

A lot of what you do is invisible. The organization, preparation, and research happens under the radar. You're not always scrolling through Twitter for the latest scores or gossip. You're sometimes looking for a current example of a topic you're teaching. Reading for pleasure is replaced by underlining key concepts in textbooks for a presentation in the upcoming weeks. You listen to a podcast while driving to campus in the hopes of finding an anecdote that you can use in the lecture you're giving in two hours.

Today's students are growing up in a challenging era. The pressures and temptations that we faced back in the day don't compare to what they deal with. While you can be humbled that someone in your class chooses to confide in you and seeks your advice, you can also feel woefully inadequate in responding to their concerns.

Another lesson from my 66th year is that unlike Tiger Woods, who got one of the biggest do-overs ever by winning the Masters, the chances for one more bite of the apple are slim for most of us who are past a certain age.

Even though we can offer the value of our failures and successes, another big win probably isn't in the cards, because potential employers believe that we expect too high a salary or will leave (read retire) after a year or two.

The research says that's simply not the case. Older workers, who are far healthier than previous generations, want to continue to make meaningful contributions and have much to share as mentors and experienced leaders.

That's why I'm grateful that I've always had a second career in higher education and within the last two years have been able to take on a greater role in my wife's real estate practice.  Both are fields where experience is actually considered an advantage.

At this point in our lives, we've also done the best we can to raise our children, who are now adults with families of their own. None of us are trained to be parents. We learn on the job. We can only hope that the advice we gave; the example we set will somehow serve as a compass as they navigate through their own lives.

If we haven't, we need to learn that the decisions our children make are theirs, and not a referendum on our parenting skills. They still may disappoint us on occasion, but give them time as our parents gave us.

By now most of us have learned to adjust to life without our parents. I'm lucky. This is my first birthday without my Mom. I'm also fortunate that my "sainted mother-in-law" is available for advice, which she gives willingly. (Whether asked for or not!)

But more than anything else, as I grow older I continue to learn the futility of hanging on to the past.

Events that occurred months, years or even decades ago serve as anchors that hold us back as we sail into the uncharted waters of our years still to come. We can't change whatever happened, so what's the point of continuing to be chained to it? Take whatever lesson there is from the experience and move on.

I like to say that I've entered "shit happens" territory. I'm not afraid of it or even worried about it. But I acknowledge where I am.

The actuarial tables say I should live to be 91 giving me almost 25 more years on God's mostly green earth. Of course, what the numbers can't predict is the quality of my life.

So I have less interest in waiting 'till next year. I've started a bucket list, and cringe at even the thought of time lost or wasted on something that will never be featured in the highlight reel when my name is called.

Author Michael Leboeuf says that when you "waste your money; you're only out of money. But, waste your time and you've lost a part of your life."

And our lives are too precious to waste.

Lesson learned.