Thirty Years

We celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary earlier this month and marveled at where the time had gone. We've had our share of ups and downs and just OKs over the last three decades and survived them all.

We're a somewhat unlikely couple. I'm older and tend to be reserved and a bit too serious at times, while Mari has a more outgoing, life-of-the-party personality.

We had known each other for a while before we actually went out on a date. She was helping run her family's business, a very successful Attleboro restaurant that everyone knew and was the place to meet family and friends. It was so popular that on Thanksgiving Eve and Christmas Eve Eve, a police detail was needed to manage the traffic.

I was a Tuesday night regular with my colleagues on the City Council. We would adjourn to a table in the back of the restaurant after our meetings. Some said that's where the decisions were really made. In fact, we rarely talked business. It was a time -- that seems quaint now -- when politicians could also be personally friendly.  We could go at it tooth and nail at a meeting, then sit down together and have the supper that we often missed, because many of us came right from work to City Hall. The conversation tended towards our jobs, families, the latest community gossip, and upcoming vacations and events. Anyone could pull up a chair and join us. My future father-in-law often did.

Mari and I would flirt. She encouraged me to put ice in my beer, for example. But it took a while for me to get the courage to ask her out.  (See above about how different we are.)

When the time came for our first date, she confided in her Mother that she really didn't want to go out with me.  But Janet advised her "you don't have to marry the guy." Later that night at a desert and coffee bar on Providence's East Side, a couple we were seated next to predicted that we would get married someday, which was about the furthest thing from either one of our minds.

But they must have seen something. We were engaged several months later to the surprise of many.  (See above about how different we are.)

And, as they say, the rest is history.

Fast forward 30 years and we're certainly not as young as we used to be. I'm old enough to be collecting my Social Security check, while Mari is still several years away. We spend more time together now, as I've joined her successful real estate practice. Most days we come home from the office still talking to each other. We're in good health and have plans and dreams that should keep us busy for many years to come.

I love her as much as ever, but she can drive me crazy by leaving the refrigerator door open and constantly looking for her phone and glasses.

But, I can't imagine life without her. She's a devoted grandmother; a supportive mother; a good friend, and often patient with me, which is not always easy. One of these days I'll get my hearing checked...

You can't help but think of all the quotes and cliches about time passing when you experience a milestone like your 30th wedding anniversary.

"One day, you’re 17 and you’re planning for someday. And then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life." ~ John Green

"Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time." ~ Jim Rohn

"The trouble is you think you have time." ~ Gautama Buddhaa

I'm hoping we do. And lots of it.