I'm living to 120...

... to which my wife says: "Oh, great."

I'm not big into self help books. I think the content is all pretty similar with different versions of the same advice. I feel the same way about books that tell you how to run your business. Same advice, just a different spin.

The only possible exception is the content currently being generated by Gary Vaynerchuk, aka Gary Vee. He owns a highly successful international marketing firm and was an early investor in social media. You might say he's a bit of a philosopher about a number of topics, including living your life and running a successful business. Vaynerchuk's videos have been a big hit with my students over the last few years at least in part, I think, because his language can be more than a little salty. So much so that I would sometimes apologize in advance before sharing one, just in case someone was uncomfortable.

But that's not the subject of this posting.

My topic is how people deal with growing older. I don't know about you, but when I thought about an older me, it was somehow a different person. But here I am, officially a "senior" and it's the same me. People who haven't seen us in a while tell my wife and I that we "never change." I used to believe it about me, until a college buddy recently texted a picture from our campus radio days.

Photographic evidence aside,  I still think I'm the same kid, who was playing "Freebird" on WTBU in 1974.

So my research on Amazon for books about getting older led me to I've Decided to Live 120 Years by Ilchi Lee.

While some of what Lee writes is new age mumbo-jumbo, he did offer a few interesting insights.

According to Lee, scientists say that we have the biological capacity to live 120 years. So if that's the case, shouldn't we at least act as if we could? Upon reaching a certain age, too many people conclude that's all there is and live their remaining years with no sense of purpose. Retirement is seen as the end; nothing else to do but wait.

Lee says we need to determine what we want to accomplish during the second half of our lives. If it's travel, make a plan for several years out. Volunteer? Make a long term commitment to do something. Start a second or third career? Go for it.

Our goal should be completing our lives and not leaving any unfinished business. No coulda, woulda, shoulda when the time comes.

Rome's Spanish Steps

While I'm not a retiring kind of guy that advice did hit home with me.

I became aware late last year of a potential six week summer teaching opportunity in Rome. While I applied too late, I was encouraged to put my name in this September for the summer of 2020. To be honest, I've been getting cold feet. I'll be 67 then. ("The good Lord willing.")  Even though Mari will come with me for at least part of the time, I started to doubt whether I wanted to be on my own for a few weeks so far away from home . Maybe I would be too old for something like that.

But after reading Lee's book, I realized that there's no harm in applying. I know I'd regret not trying. I was visiting Rome regularly for work not that many years ago and have several former colleagues I'd enjoy seeing again. The weeks Mari would be there could give us a chance to visit other parts of Italy. She and Meg did join me on one of those work trips and they have very fond memories -- and pictures -- of charming waiters and cabaret crooners, who sang Michael Buble tunes. Maybe we could find a way this time for Meg and Mariana to join us. Friends might want to take advantage of the free accommodations, My self doubt could cost all of them an incredible experience and I wouldn't forgive myself for that.

In the big picture, Lee writes that "American Baby Boomers who are now seniors have massive power -- politically, economically, socially, culturally -- that cannot be compared with previous generations. The older generation not only has plenty of time, but also the passion to pour their energy into meaningful work."

While it might be disconcerting to think of ourselves as the older generation, isn't it better to be in the game than sitting on the sidelines?

So, my senior and not so senior friends, I have a question for you. What are you going to do with the second half of your lives?

(If you care to share your plans, please do.)

Random Redux

When did it become OK to start pumping gas and leaving your vehicle unattended to go inside and get coffee?

Something to think about from Larry the Cable Guy. (Yes, Larry the Cable Guy.) Turn off the TV news and go out into your community and see the many ways people are working together and helping each other. Not that there aren't serious issues to discuss, but the talking heads and the politicians with the extreme views, who seem to dominate the conversation, are the outliers not everyday folks.

Is it programmed somewhere in our DNA that we start visiting our doctor more often when we reach a certain age?

Here's one I don't understand. Chase Bank recently posted what they thought was a harmless #MondayMotivation tweet with some simple ideas to save money. Nothing that most of us haven't thought of at some point...like eating what's in the frig and not going out, or making coffee at home, instead of going to Dunks.  (If we saved half the money we've spent at restaurants over the last 30 years, we'd own that Florida vacation home we talk about!)

But the twitterverse and the more liberal amongst us -- who I often agree with, but not this time -- decided that the tweet was "poor shaming." So, of course, Chase had to apologize; take down the tweet, and promise to be more thoughtful in the future. I guess you can't be sure anymore about what is or isn't acceptable.

I always admired John McCain. But even my Dad said McCain was too old to be President when he ran against Barack Obama in 2008.  If you haven't read his final  book, The Restless Wave: Good Times, Just Causes and Great Fights, I encourage you to.

After our bout with all that rain, I don't think I could live in the Pacific Northwest.

I don't know if I buy this, but marketing mogul, investor, and raconteur Gary Vaynerchuk  (aka Gary Vee) is predicting that sports cards are the next big thing.

We just had our Annual Town Meeting and elections for local office. I wish the enthusiasm shown for the issues on the townie Facebook pages translated into people actually attending and voting. Lots of excuses after the fact about why people didn't turn out. I'm sorry. I managed to serve in Town government for 10 years, while raising a family, working off Cape, and having a wife who worked full time, too. If people are truly as concerned as they claim to be on social media, they would find the time to attend a one night a year Annual Town Meeting on Monday and vote in an all day Thursday election, which are both held at the same time every year.  It's all a matter of priorities...

The Red Sox bandwagon. On or off?

On Being Uncomfortable

Now that the Academic Year is just about over, I feel comfortable telling this story.

At the conclusion of one of the last classes of the semester of an Intro to PR course, a student approached me to say that she had been "uncomfortable" with something that occurred.

I mentally ran through the topics we covered. It was actually a pretty boring class: an information dump about legal considerations in the Public Relations business. For example: obtaining permissions to use photos, and citing reputable sources like Consumer Reports or J.D. Powers, if you're going to compare your product to a competitor's.

I was pleased that she stepped forward. I was clear at the start of the semester that since this was a Public Relations course, we would be talking about current events. If we wandered into an area that hit a nerve, I encouraged the class to let me know.

No one stepped forward during the semester. In general, I think I have a good rapport with my students. I'm also very careful about prefacing topics that could be the least bit controversial with comments like "We're all adults here," or "This is a broad generalization."

I'm also sure that it's not easy to speak to a professor about something he said in class. (Especially one who is old enough to be your grandfather!)

So, after thanking the student for coming up, I asked what made her uncomfortable. She answered that it was my use of the word "uncivilized."

I had been using the current measles outbreak as an example of a Public Relations and educational opportunity for the medical field. We had talked about it a few weeks earlier and I had been sure back then to acknowledge that there may be some students in the room or members of their families, who believed that vaccinations weren't safe.

When talking about the crisis this time and the Public Relations challenges that the medical field was continuing to face, I said that one would expect to hear about the return of a disease that had been been declared eradicated in a more "uncivilized" area, not a country like the U.S.

I supposed I could have used a better word like "underdeveloped." But my choice of "uncivilized" wasn't malicious or critical of a particular region or group of people. I teach almost all of my classes without any prepared notes, just PowerPoint slides that serve as talking points. So, I'm sure every now and then I've said something that's arguably a little off base. But, this was a first time a student had spoken with me about what I had said.

I applaud the student for talking with me and in no way want to minimize her feelings. But at the same time, I started to wonder how the younger generation is learning to deal with topics, conversations and people that make them "uncomfortable."  That's a very broad term that means different things to different people.

I supposed it's a matter of personal priorities and experiences. Maybe this student's family comes from a part of the world that has been unjustly termed "uncivilized." I honestly don't know. She never explained.

But she did touch a nerve with me, as I never want anyone to be uncomfortable in my classes. We had discussed other topics during the semester that had me half expecting an invitation from my Department Chair -- who was teaching in the classroom next door -- to stop by for a little chat. But the phone never rang.

So, this caught me totally by surprise, given some of the other topics we had gotten into. But I also started thinking about anyone who speaks in public. One of the basics is to know your audience. But, can you ever really be sure today about who is listening and what might make them uncomfortable?

Additionally Random

If plastic bags are being banned, I guess that means we've saved the trees.

I feel bad for Joe Biden. By today's standards his "hands on" style of relating to people is no longer deemed appropriate. While I'm in no way dismissing the feelings of those who felt uncomfortable, he is by all accounts considered a good man by people across the political spectrum. To see the haters take a picture of him consoling his grandson at his father's (Biden's son) funeral and crop it in a way so it seems he's being inappropriate with a young boy is beyond wrong. (The photo didn't identify him as Biden's grandson.)

It just seems that too often we're apologizing. In teaching, I sometimes feel like I'm on the defensive. I can't count the number of times I've prefaced a point by saying "I'm making a broad generalization here," or "Not that there's anything wrong with that." Just in case a student might be offended.

In honor of my recent birthday, I've started a bucket list. (Or as my friend Mike calls his, a Life List.)

Short term items include joining a spring/summer golf league (done) and having an outside shower installed (which I think will happen in the next few months.)

Intermediate goals include visiting New Orleans; Memphis and Nashville; attending Patriots and Red Sox road games somewhere interesting and/or warm; another trip to Italy, and spending time in two of our favorite places, Clearwater and Lake Tahoe. I went to Kiawah Island back in my United Way days for a conference. I wouldn't mind returning, though I don't think my golf game is up to the challenge.

Long term, I want to attend my granddaughter's high school graduation. And if I'm real lucky, her college one, too.

I've also always enjoyed writing and have done my share as a corporate PR person and occasional free lancer. I've taught a number of classes about it over the years, too.  (I'm scheduled to teach Sports Writing this summer at the Plymouth campus of Curry College, if anyone is interested.) So, I'm curious to see what possibilities might be out there for me beyond this blog and the one at the website for my wife's real estate practice.

For her birthday, we recently took our granddaughter to a hotel that features an indoor water park. It was great to see so many young families -- and grandparents -- having fun with the kids. But I hope this younger generation stays in shape. Otherwise, all the ink they're wearing is going to look mighty silly a few decades from now.

Another sign that you're getting older. You're referred to as a "gentleman."

Even his critics have to admit that Tiger Woods' success is stunning. Not that long ago he was hoping to simply be able to walk.

His Masters win reminded me of my sainted Aunt Elsie, who was a cloistered Poor Clair nun for about 70 years. Somehow she became a Tiger fan and would commandeer the TV from the other sisters on Sunday afternoon, especially if he was making a charge. During his personal crisis, she greeted us once by saying "Poor Tiger. All those awful things those girls are saying about him."

But, don't think my Aunt was naive. She also asked us in the midst of the Clinton impeachment why Monica Lewinsky kept the dress!