Random Again

I know Internet security is very important. But, do we have to jump through what seems like an endless series of hoops to change a password? How many verification codes are really necessary? It took me what seemed like forever to change the password on one of my personal accounts, which are mostly filled with junk mail. But I can't bring myself to dump any of them, because I'm not sure on what important documents they may be listed.

Drivers of pick up trucks seem to be some of the slowest on the road. Particularly in the morning when they're heading to the job. Coincidence? Maybe not...

For those of you who have issues with social media and Twitter in particular, check out this conversation with Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey: How Twitter Needs to Change

He agrees with you.

Several years ago my mother-in-law gave my wife the following advice: "The older they get, the more they become like little boys."

While doing yard work last fall, I tripped and slightly fractured my ankle requiring a brace for a 10 days. I also sprained my wrist and broke my thumb at the same time putting me in a cast for six weeks.  A few weeks ago while emptying the dishwasher on a Sunday morning following a Saturday night cookout (where the gas for the grille ran out before the food was cooked), I sliced my finger on a serrated knife and needed five stitches.

In between those incidents, I have clumsily fallen up flights of stairs requiring me to re-engage the ankle brace. I've had a tooth ache that I moaned about for days before going to the dentist. I've also suffered through several bouts of flu like symptoms. I see my chiropractor on a regular basis and if I don't start the day on the floor for 10 minutes with a tightly rolled up towel at the small of my back, I'm creaky (cranky?) all day. My allergies also bother me.

I think Janet might be onto something.

...and about the grille running out of gas. In my defense, I cleaned and started the grille the day before and everything seemed fine. And no one had to remind me to do it!

It's interesting how many want to blame Alex Cora for the Red Sox woes. He can

only manage the players he has and if they're not doing the job, it's not his fault.

As Rick Pitino famously said "All the negativity that's in this town just sucks."

Thoughts on Sox

Even though several days have passed since we first heard the news, it's still difficult to process the words "David Ortiz" and "shot" in the same sentence.

No matter the reason -- not that there could ever be a good one -- you have to hope that something greater will come from this. That's the only way to make any sense of what happened.

This incident showed once again the limits of social media. I talk to my students all the time about understanding the sources of the information that they read on Twitter and elsewhere.  It's a lesson that some adults could learn as well. Be sure that your sources are reputable and not ones that engage in rumors and half truths. Some of the information about the Ortiz shooting that has been repeated and retweeted as fact is at this point gossip and speculation from questionable outlets.

Another lesson for my students when I see them again is that as a story initially unfolds you should also be cautious about early reporting from legitimate media outlets.  In the race to be first, incorrect information or impressions are sometimes reported.

For example, the Dial Bar and Lounge, where Ortiz was shot, was initially described as a bar and/or nightclub, leading to social media comments questioning why he was at a place like that and asking where was his family. Reports now describe the establishment as a "fashionable open air cafe," where he was sitting with a Dominican television producer,  a totally different image than the one first presented.

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Great reporting on the Ortiz shooting from WBZ-TV's Anaridis Rodriguez, who was born and raised in the Dominican. She obviously had sources in the country that made her reporting some of the most accurate among Boston media.

A few weeks ago, she shared via social media some of the racial insults she receives on a regular basis because of her heritage. For example, one comment to her began by calling her a "spic."

And that's one of many things that's wrong with social media.

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As someone who has worked in the media business for more years than I care to count, I knoicw the importance of being sensitive to the sentiments and opinions of your publics. So, Major League Baseball's decision to change the designation "Disabled List  to "Injured List" was certainly long overdue.

But, this one I don't get. Apparently there's been some talk in NBA circles about the term "owner" being inappropriate. I fully understand the possible sensitivity to the word in a league where most of the owners are white, while the majority of players are minority.  But, what word or phrase could be substituted for "owner" without turning the language on its head and creating a term that's just plain silly and pandering?

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My daughter recently took me to a Red Sox game for my birthday. Great seats in right field. The Sox lost, but a fun night with Megs!

I'm always amazed at ticketed events how people can't seem to find their seats. There was all kinds of shifting around in the first few innings as people sat in the wrong rows or just plunked themselves down in vacant chairs only to be forced to move when ticket holders arrived. I'm not singling out a couple of guys with a beer in each hand, who just decide to sit somewhere. I'm talking about families -- Dad, Mom and three kids -- just randomly finding five seats and hunkering down. How hard can it be to read the row and seat number and find the correct spot?  Apparently quite difficult for some people...
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I'm  a firm believer in the cliche that the best hockey is play off hockey. That being said, I regret not watching the Bruins more during the regular season. I didn't realize they had the potential to reach Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals.

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When he was managing the Red Sox, Jimy Williams somewhat famously said that the season was a "marathon, not a sprint." So there's no reason to give up yet. Right??

Fathers, Sons, and Golf

I first became aware of the game of golf as a kid when I saw my Dad leave the house at 7:00am on Saturday mornings with his golf bag over his shoulder. I can still picture his orange ball cap, but I don't remember the course name and can't see the logo in my memory.

Dad was an avid golfer when he was younger. He bought both my brother, Jeff, and I our own set of clubs that we proudly took to the driving range with him.  Unfortunately, they were stolen from his car while parked at a downtown Boston garage near where he worked. I never owned another full set until about 15 years ago, when we began playing with friends.

I don't remember when my Dad stopped playing golf on a regular basis. I suspect it had something to do with his perpetually bad back and/or being too busy with life as his first two sons grew and a third somewhat unexpectedly arrived.

My Father still played every now and then. When friends would visit from Indiana they would always spend a weekend at what was then the Sheraton Hyannis near the Melody Tent. The boys would play golf at the hotel course, Twin Brooks, while the girls would cruise the Cape Cod Mall and have a leisurely lunch.

My Dad's been gone almost 11 years, but I just recently went through all the pockets in his golf bag and found several pencils from Twin Brooks.

He also would play on occasion when he and my Mother would visit us on the Cape. Nine holes at our home course, Holly Ridge in Sandwich, with Mom riding shotgun in the cart, followed by lunch in the Clubhouse. He also played when we vacationed for a few summers at the Jack-o-Lantern resort in New Hampshire. Ironically, my parents took us there when we were kids, but I don't remember him packing his golf bag.

Dad would be rusty when he teed it up, but you could see that he probably had a very respectable handicap in his younger days. I'm sure he played at other times, too, probably with my youngest brother, Eric. But, he never got back to anything consistent.

He still passionately followed the game and would attend pro tournaments when they came to the area. My daughter has fond memories of going to the Senior Open in Salem, MA. with her Grandfather, Uncle Eric, and Dad. We got there in time to see the pairing of Arnold Palmer and Jack Nicklaus tee off and sat in the stands with David Duval, who was there watching his Dad play.

My Father was the best at getting autographs and my brother has several hole flags and program books filled with signatures from everyone from Donald Trump to Greg Norman.

He was excited for a number of reasons when my folks finally left the Brighton section of Boston and moved to the suburbs in Natick, where Eric and his wife live. One was that the driving range where he took Jeff and I when we were kids was just minutes away. He talked of practicing there and hopefully playing again at a nearby course.

Unfortunately, shortly after moving Dad learned that the pain he was experiencing wasn't his back acting up again, but cancer. He passed a little more than a year later having never got to the range.

Mariana with Holly Ridge teaching pro Darren Falk

I know he'd be pleased that his seven year old great granddaughter is taking lessons at Holly Ridge; can drive the ball 100 yards; has good club speed, and is an excellent putter.

Since it's summer and golf season, my reading list has featured several books about the game. It seems that more than a few have been written about sons, their Dads and golf.

One particularly touching book is Final Rounds written by golf writer and biographer James Dodson. It's mostly the story of a trip the author took with his ailing Dad to golf courses in Scotland and England, some of which Dodson's Father played as soldier during World Way II.  But it's also about Dodson's memories of his Dad, golfing buddies and final days. If you've lost your Father, the closing chapters might be a little gut wrenching. They were for me.

If nothing else, Dodson's experience made me promise myself that I will take the time to play with my granddaughter. Weather permitting that's what I hope to be doing Fathers Day, nine holes with Mariana and Mari, then lunch at the Holly Ridge Clubhouse.

I'm hoping that someday I can finally visualize that logo on my Dad's hat and take Mariana to where her great grandfather played.  Lasting memories are made on the golf course and that's one I don't want to miss.

I'm living to 120...

... to which my wife says: "Oh, great."

I'm not big into self help books. I think the content is all pretty similar with different versions of the same advice. I feel the same way about books that tell you how to run your business. Same advice, just a different spin.

The only possible exception is the content currently being generated by Gary Vaynerchuk, aka Gary Vee. He owns a highly successful international marketing firm and was an early investor in social media. You might say he's a bit of a philosopher about a number of topics, including living your life and running a successful business. Vaynerchuk's videos have been a big hit with my students over the last few years at least in part, I think, because his language can be more than a little salty. So much so that I would sometimes apologize in advance before sharing one, just in case someone was uncomfortable.

But that's not the subject of this posting.

My topic is how people deal with growing older. I don't know about you, but when I thought about an older me, it was somehow a different person. But here I am, officially a "senior" and it's the same me. People who haven't seen us in a while tell my wife and I that we "never change." I used to believe it about me, until a college buddy recently texted a picture from our campus radio days.

Photographic evidence aside,  I still think I'm the same kid, who was playing "Freebird" on WTBU in 1974.

So my research on Amazon for books about getting older led me to I've Decided to Live 120 Years by Ilchi Lee.

While some of what Lee writes is new age mumbo-jumbo, he did offer a few interesting insights.

According to Lee, scientists say that we have the biological capacity to live 120 years. So if that's the case, shouldn't we at least act as if we could? Upon reaching a certain age, too many people conclude that's all there is and live their remaining years with no sense of purpose. Retirement is seen as the end; nothing else to do but wait.

Lee says we need to determine what we want to accomplish during the second half of our lives. If it's travel, make a plan for several years out. Volunteer? Make a long term commitment to do something. Start a second or third career? Go for it.

Our goal should be completing our lives and not leaving any unfinished business. No coulda, woulda, shoulda when the time comes.

Rome's Spanish Steps

While I'm not a retiring kind of guy that advice did hit home with me.

I became aware late last year of a potential six week summer teaching opportunity in Rome. While I applied too late, I was encouraged to put my name in this September for the summer of 2020. To be honest, I've been getting cold feet. I'll be 67 then. ("The good Lord willing.")  Even though Mari will come with me for at least part of the time, I started to doubt whether I wanted to be on my own for a few weeks so far away from home . Maybe I would be too old for something like that.

But after reading Lee's book, I realized that there's no harm in applying. I know I'd regret not trying. I was visiting Rome regularly for work not that many years ago and have several former colleagues I'd enjoy seeing again. The weeks Mari would be there could give us a chance to visit other parts of Italy. She and Meg did join me on one of those work trips and they have very fond memories -- and pictures -- of charming waiters and cabaret crooners, who sang Michael Buble tunes. Maybe we could find a way this time for Meg and Mariana to join us. Friends might want to take advantage of the free accommodations, My self doubt could cost all of them an incredible experience and I wouldn't forgive myself for that.

In the big picture, Lee writes that "American Baby Boomers who are now seniors have massive power -- politically, economically, socially, culturally -- that cannot be compared with previous generations. The older generation not only has plenty of time, but also the passion to pour their energy into meaningful work."

While it might be disconcerting to think of ourselves as the older generation, isn't it better to be in the game than sitting on the sidelines?

So, my senior and not so senior friends, I have a question for you. What are you going to do with the second half of your lives?

(If you care to share your plans, please do.)

Random Redux

When did it become OK to start pumping gas and leaving your vehicle unattended to go inside and get coffee?

Something to think about from Larry the Cable Guy. (Yes, Larry the Cable Guy.) Turn off the TV news and go out into your community and see the many ways people are working together and helping each other. Not that there aren't serious issues to discuss, but the talking heads and the politicians with the extreme views, who seem to dominate the conversation, are the outliers not everyday folks.

Is it programmed somewhere in our DNA that we start visiting our doctor more often when we reach a certain age?

Here's one I don't understand. Chase Bank recently posted what they thought was a harmless #MondayMotivation tweet with some simple ideas to save money. Nothing that most of us haven't thought of at some point...like eating what's in the frig and not going out, or making coffee at home, instead of going to Dunks.  (If we saved half the money we've spent at restaurants over the last 30 years, we'd own that Florida vacation home we talk about!)

But the twitterverse and the more liberal amongst us -- who I often agree with, but not this time -- decided that the tweet was "poor shaming." So, of course, Chase had to apologize; take down the tweet, and promise to be more thoughtful in the future. I guess you can't be sure anymore about what is or isn't acceptable.

I always admired John McCain. But even my Dad said McCain was too old to be President when he ran against Barack Obama in 2008.  If you haven't read his final  book, The Restless Wave: Good Times, Just Causes and Great Fights, I encourage you to.

After our bout with all that rain, I don't think I could live in the Pacific Northwest.

I don't know if I buy this, but marketing mogul, investor, and raconteur Gary Vaynerchuk  (aka Gary Vee) is predicting that sports cards are the next big thing.

We just had our Annual Town Meeting and elections for local office. I wish the enthusiasm shown for the issues on the townie Facebook pages translated into people actually attending and voting. Lots of excuses after the fact about why people didn't turn out. I'm sorry. I managed to serve in Town government for 10 years, while raising a family, working off Cape, and having a wife who worked full time, too. If people are truly as concerned as they claim to be on social media, they would find the time to attend a one night a year Annual Town Meeting on Monday and vote in an all day Thursday election, which are both held at the same time every year.  It's all a matter of priorities...

The Red Sox bandwagon. On or off?

On Being Uncomfortable

Now that the Academic Year is just about over, I feel comfortable telling this story.

At the conclusion of one of the last classes of the semester of an Intro to PR course, a student approached me to say that she had been "uncomfortable" with something that occurred.

I mentally ran through the topics we covered. It was actually a pretty boring class: an information dump about legal considerations in the Public Relations business. For example: obtaining permissions to use photos, and citing reputable sources like Consumer Reports or J.D. Powers, if you're going to compare your product to a competitor's.

I was pleased that she stepped forward. I was clear at the start of the semester that since this was a Public Relations course, we would be talking about current events. If we wandered into an area that hit a nerve, I encouraged the class to let me know.

No one stepped forward during the semester. In general, I think I have a good rapport with my students. I'm also very careful about prefacing topics that could be the least bit controversial with comments like "We're all adults here," or "This is a broad generalization."

I'm also sure that it's not easy to speak to a professor about something he said in class. (Especially one who is old enough to be your grandfather!)

So, after thanking the student for coming up, I asked what made her uncomfortable. She answered that it was my use of the word "uncivilized."

I had been using the current measles outbreak as an example of a Public Relations and educational opportunity for the medical field. We had talked about it a few weeks earlier and I had been sure back then to acknowledge that there may be some students in the room or members of their families, who believed that vaccinations weren't safe.

When talking about the crisis this time and the Public Relations challenges that the medical field was continuing to face, I said that one would expect to hear about the return of a disease that had been been declared eradicated in a more "uncivilized" area, not a country like the U.S.

I supposed I could have used a better word like "underdeveloped." But my choice of "uncivilized" wasn't malicious or critical of a particular region or group of people. I teach almost all of my classes without any prepared notes, just PowerPoint slides that serve as talking points. So, I'm sure every now and then I've said something that's arguably a little off base. But, this was a first time a student had spoken with me about what I had said.

I applaud the student for talking with me and in no way want to minimize her feelings. But at the same time, I started to wonder how the younger generation is learning to deal with topics, conversations and people that make them "uncomfortable."  That's a very broad term that means different things to different people.

I supposed it's a matter of personal priorities and experiences. Maybe this student's family comes from a part of the world that has been unjustly termed "uncivilized." I honestly don't know. She never explained.

But she did touch a nerve with me, as I never want anyone to be uncomfortable in my classes. We had discussed other topics during the semester that had me half expecting an invitation from my Department Chair -- who was teaching in the classroom next door -- to stop by for a little chat. But the phone never rang.

So, this caught me totally by surprise, given some of the other topics we had gotten into. But I also started thinking about anyone who speaks in public. One of the basics is to know your audience. But, can you ever really be sure today about who is listening and what might make them uncomfortable?

Additionally Random

If plastic bags are being banned, I guess that means we've saved the trees.

I feel bad for Joe Biden. By today's standards his "hands on" style of relating to people is no longer deemed appropriate. While I'm in no way dismissing the feelings of those who felt uncomfortable, he is by all accounts considered a good man by people across the political spectrum. To see the haters take a picture of him consoling his grandson at his father's (Biden's son) funeral and crop it in a way so it seems he's being inappropriate with a young boy is beyond wrong. (The photo didn't identify him as Biden's grandson.)

It just seems that too often we're apologizing. In teaching, I sometimes feel like I'm on the defensive. I can't count the number of times I've prefaced a point by saying "I'm making a broad generalization here," or "Not that there's anything wrong with that." Just in case a student might be offended.

In honor of my recent birthday, I've started a bucket list. (Or as my friend Mike calls his, a Life List.)

Short term items include joining a spring/summer golf league (done) and having an outside shower installed (which I think will happen in the next few months.)

Intermediate goals include visiting New Orleans; Memphis and Nashville; attending Patriots and Red Sox road games somewhere interesting and/or warm; another trip to Italy, and spending time in two of our favorite places, Clearwater and Lake Tahoe. I went to Kiawah Island back in my United Way days for a conference. I wouldn't mind returning, though I don't think my golf game is up to the challenge.

Long term, I want to attend my granddaughter's high school graduation. And if I'm real lucky, her college one, too.

I've also always enjoyed writing and have done my share as a corporate PR person and occasional free lancer. I've taught a number of classes about it over the years, too.  (I'm scheduled to teach Sports Writing this summer at the Plymouth campus of Curry College, if anyone is interested.) So, I'm curious to see what possibilities might be out there for me beyond this blog and the one at the website for my wife's real estate practice.

For her birthday, we recently took our granddaughter to a hotel that features an indoor water park. It was great to see so many young families -- and grandparents -- having fun with the kids. But I hope this younger generation stays in shape. Otherwise, all the ink they're wearing is going to look mighty silly a few decades from now.

Another sign that you're getting older. You're referred to as a "gentleman."

Even his critics have to admit that Tiger Woods' success is stunning. Not that long ago he was hoping to simply be able to walk.

His Masters win reminded me of my sainted Aunt Elsie, who was a cloistered Poor Clair nun for about 70 years. Somehow she became a Tiger fan and would commandeer the TV from the other sisters on Sunday afternoon, especially if he was making a charge. During his personal crisis, she greeted us once by saying "Poor Tiger. All those awful things those girls are saying about him."

But, don't think my Aunt was naive. She also asked us in the midst of the Clinton impeachment why Monica Lewinsky kept the dress!